Why I Am Still Here

Ever since my husband and I ended our seven year battle with fertility treatments and decided not to pursue adoption, I have been trying to figure out what to do with my life. I am incredibly grateful that we were able to have a baby with the help of intrauterine insemination, and that I have been able to stay home with her for the past five years.  But my baby is no longer a baby anymore! My daughter is headed to Kindergarten in the fall and I am headed back to work. I have been trying not to think about all the what-ifs and could-have-beens with respect to our repeated attempts to have a second biological child. What if I didn't have endometriosis? What if my pregnancies hadn’t miscarried?  What if one, just one, of our embryos didn't have a genetic mutation? What if the embryo adoption had worked out?  Then I would have a baby right now.  But I am trying to steer far away from the past and instead focus on the present.  What now?

There is a perceived notion that when you struggle with infertility and then have a baby, you are done being infertile.  Though that may be true for some people, it was not true for me and my husband.  Many of our friends and family members wanted us to ride off into the sunset and never look back.  They often said they just wanted us to be happy.  But my husband and I wanted more children.  I remember, after my third consecutive miscarriage, sharing the news with a close family member, who responded; “Don’t be sad. Look at your beautiful daughter and just be grateful that you have her.”  I can only imagine her own grief over what my husband and I were going through led to her dismissive remark.  Maybe she told me what helped her make sense of our sad news.  I wasn’t crying on the phone to her.  I wasn’t angry. Not in that conversation, and not ever in my journey, have I uttered that what was happening to me was not fair.  I have worked in homes for the dying in Calcutta and have worked with families in Mexico who had no clean water to drink.  Those situations are not fair. What is also not fair is that so many people I love and have grown to cherish in the infertility community do not have their one miracle to hold and love.  

But for a person to tell me to be grateful for the gift of my daughter is like telling my heart to beat.  Of course I am grateful for my daughter!  My gratitude is heightened by knowing how much the odds were against her coming into this world.  Infertility is like wearing a permanent pair of sunglasses.  It colors your entire world, including the way you parent. The love and the depth of gratitude I feel for my child is a richer, more vibrant shade, fashioned by the years of desiring her presence in our lives and by the long journey that got her to us.  My infertility also causes my gratitude for my daughter to be mixed with a grief over my miscarriages and unviable embryos.  Infertility teaches us all that anything can, and most often will, go wrong, that loss is a part of life, and that life doesn’t work out as we hope or plan. These darker hues are ever-present and constantly haunt the thoughts that occupy my mind. My husband tells me that infertility is something that will be with us always.  I think he is right.

So the question still remains, “What now?”  Where do I go from here?  These last few months I have been taking a look at the things in my life that define me.  I am a grateful mother to my daughter.  I am a wife, married 11 years.  I am a social worker who has helped people through therapy and advocacy.  And I have been a campus minister at the high school and college level.  I am an infertility survivor and endometriosis patient who is constantly trying to make more sense of this awful, chronic disease. 

Lately I have been thinking about expanding my role as an advocate in the infertility world and starting groups for women going through infertility treatments.  I have recently started a retreat program for women struggling with infertility.  All my efforts make some of my family members a little nervous.  They view it as my being stuck or wallowing in my infertility struggles.  Maybe they are afraid I am missing my chance at that beautiful ride into the sunset?  Paulo Coehlo, one of my favorite authors, writes “Don’t allow your wounds to transform you into something you are not.”  I believe in my heart that my desire to continue to be a part of the infertility community is not dwelling in my past or transforming me in a negative way.  My hope is that my wounds will help me transform the lives of others struggling with infertility, which in turn will help me heal.  I have always been an advocate.  I have always looked to help others who are struggling.  Now that I am no longer undergoing fertility treatments, I feel that I can be a light for others and help them navigate their own path through infertility.

So I am joining the movement staying a part of the movement.  I hope to use my skills and experience to make a difference in the lives of other women who are struggling with what I have struggled with.  I am excited for the opportunity to go to Washington D.C. in May, as part of an effort organized by RESOLVE, the National Infertility Association, to speak with elected officials on many infertility issues.  I am especially looking forward to meeting many of the strong, amazing women in the infertility community that I have come in contact with over the years, many of whom are still fighting hard for their miracle.

I will never forget the pain and hopelessness that I felt before I had my daughter and the feelings of loss that I still feel after the realization that after five additional years of unsuccessful fertility treatments, I will never have another biological child.  I will never take my daughter's life for granted.  I will never take lightly the pain of others, especially those who are struggling to have their first child.  I will never stop educating others about infertility.  I will never stop fighting for answers.  I have learned through my journey with infertility that I will never be the same, but hopefully, in my new reality, I can bring hope and comfort to others.

To find our more about RESOLVE and Advocacy Day check out:

http://www.resolve.org/infertility101

http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/about.html

 

Notes from Endometriosis Conference 2013

I was so excited to be able to go to the Endometriosis Foundation of America's Endometriosis 2013 Conference titled: The American Perspective
 
It was amazing being in a room with the top world experts on Endometriosis. What I found most overwhelming was how every doctor admitted as much as they know about endometriosis compared to other doctors, there is still so much more they don't know about this chronic, debilitating disease. I love that there are teams of doctors all around the world who are taking our disease seriously. I found the information overwhelming as a 34 year old woman who is now done with the fertility journey. I wish I knew all of this information a decade ago! Early detection makes all the difference.
 
I also found that being involved in the Endometriosis Twitter community is an amazing resource. From talking to other patients at the conference I found that being connected to hundreds of other patients through Twitter has given me more information and support than I can find anywhere else, and that is empowering. We are on the front lines of this disease. The more we communicate with each other about symptoms and treatments, the better we can improve our quality of life as an entire community!
 
Below are the summaries of the talks! I will try to do a "Top Ten" post this week for those of you that don't want to read four pages! Please list your reactions in the comments. If there is something that surprised you, or that you disagree with, feel free to post!

What is the Greatest Gift I Gave to my Daughter? Victor Gomel, MD

Dr. Gomel is a pioneer in both microsurgery and operative laparoscopy. He stressed how at age 35 the rate of miscarriage and chromosomal abnormalities drastically increases in women. He talked about how women are born with 2-4 million eggs, by the time of menstruation women are down to 400,000 or less. He talked about the importance of the cryopreservation of ovarian tissue, oocytes and embryos for women with endometriosis and the option of donor eggs for older women trying to get pregnant

Egg Banking: Buying Reproductive Insurance Avner Hershlag, MD

Dr. Avner Hershlag serves as Chief of the Center for Human Reproduction, where he has cared for patients for more than 20 years and established successful programs, including: donor egg, preimplantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) and egg freezing/fertility preservation. He spoke of the tough situations women with endometriosis are facing today in our modern world. Obviously, with the quality of eggs decreasing after age 35 and the continual growth of endometriosis, it is certainly better to get pregnant at a younger age. But what if you haven’t found a partner yet? What if a woman feels it is too early in her career to get pregnant? He talked about how egg cryopreservation has become a wonderful option for young women with endometriosis. Cycles using frozen eggs are just as successful as cycles using frozen embryos. For women with endometriosis, cycles using frozen eggs and embryos have an even greater chance of leading to a successful pregnancy as opposed to a fresh IVF cycle. He suggests that to have the best chance of pregnancy later on in life, young women with endometriosis should freeze up to 16-20 eggs to use when they are ready.

Egg Freezing as an Option for Endometriosis Patients Jamie Grifo, MD

Dr. Jamie Grifo, M.D., Ph.D is the Program Director of the New York University (NYU) Fertility Center. Since 1995 he has been the Director of the Division of Reproductive Endocrinology at the NYU School of Medicine where he also holds the faculty appointment of Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology. He started off his lecture by saying, “Biological clocks tick a little bit faster for women who have endometriosis.”  He told a funny anecdote about how doctors in Italy became experts in egg freezing. He told of how the government, which is heavily influenced by the Pope, would only allow three eggs to be fertilized. They began to have many leftover eggs from patients to experiment with. They were the first to successfully freeze eggs. Dr. Grifo also stressed the importance of doing pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) on embryos to achieve a greater chance of a successful pregnancy. He also stated how it is still not that affordable to have your eggs frozen, but there is hope that patients with endometriosis will be treated similar to cancer patients in that there is a medical necessity to have eggs frozen at an early age for optimal fertility.

Fertility Conscious Endometriosis Surgery Tamar Seckin MD

Dr. Seckin is the leading world expert in endometriosis. He is also one of the founders of the Endometriosis Foundation of America who put together the conference. He talked about the findings of the many cases he has done over the years. He believes the only way to relieve endometriosis pain is through excision surgery. He spoke to higher pregnancy results in patients after excision surgery. Many doctors feel that surgery can actually harm endometriosis patients, exacerbating the endometriosis, causing more adhesions and actually lowering fertility by damaging the ovaries. He stressed that is not the case of you get an expert surgeon. Dr. Seckin felt that a regular Reproductive Endocrinologist who did not have experience with removal endometriosis would not be able to remove all of it, especially in the bowel area. This is why many women are still in pain after surgery. He also strives to preserve the ovarian tissue and carefully piece together the ovaries enhancing fertility and not limiting it more. He also stressed an early diagnosis is ideal and has been working with his foundation to raise endometriosis awareness in schools with school nurses. He stated, “The quality of surgery in a timely matter is imperative.”

Early Pregnancy Outcomes for Women with Endometriosis Jamie Knopman, MD

Dr. Knopman has extensive research experience in the areas of fertility preservation for medical and elective indications, monozygotic twinning, controlled ovarian stimulation for in vitro fertilization and ovum donation. Dr. Knopman stated that for women with endometriosis, with every month fertility is reduced. Endometriosis affects everything from the quality of the eggs, to their maturation to embryo implantation. She also stated that endometriosis eats away at the ovarian egg reserve. She also stated a study that found women who did not have endometriosis, who used donor eggs from women with endometriosis had a much lower rate of achieving pregnancy. I had always heard that endometriosis could affect the uterine lining, dramatically decreasing the chance of a successful pregnancy for women with endometriosis. But this study clearly shows that women with endometriosis had a lower egg quality as well. She explained that all women have peritoneal fluid.  In women with endometriosis, this fluid contains cytokines which causes inflammation.  This fluid affects the follicular fluid which incases the eggs and affects them adversely. She also found that women with endometriosis have a higher success rate using frozen embryo transfer as opposed to doing a fresh IVF cycle. She has found that women with endometriosis have a higher rate of pre-term delivery, pre-eclampsia, c-section and antepartum bleeding.  Women with endometriosis often have a high-risk pregnancy, although most OBGYNS do not recognize that fact.

When IBS is Really Endometriosis on the Bowel Ken Sinervo, MD

Dr. Ken Sinervo is the Medical Director for the Center for Endometriosis Care. Dr. Sinervo says, "Through the constant refinement of surgical technique, it is possible to remove all endometriosis. We try to be as conservative as possible with a woman's reproductive organs while aggressively removing all visible manifestations of endometriosis, no matter where present.” He stated that 10% of women are known to suffer from endometriosis. He has found endometriosis patients to have painful periods, pelvic pain and bladder symptoms.  One third of patients have constipation and two thirds have diarrhea.  He said it is not uncommon for him to find that women with endometriosis have both alternating constipation and diarrhea. 40% of women report to have severe intestinal cramping and bloating throughout their cycle. 20% of women have painful bowel movements.  Many women with endometriosis have blood in their stools and have palpable masses. He spoke of the importance of a colonoscopy to rule out colon cancer, which has many of the same symptoms as endometriosis. He talked about the importance of having a skilled surgeon to remove endometriosis off of the bowel to not damage the bowel. He feels that when excision is used meticulously, a patient has a low chance of recurrence of her endometriosis and can gain an excellent quality of life, something that has often been missing for years.

Endometriosis & Painful Sex Lone Hummelshoj

Lone Hummelshoj is the founder and Editor-In-Chief of www.Endometriosis.org. Endometriosis has a profound impact on relationships. 56% of women with endometriosis reported that their relationship was negatively impacted due to the disease.  For 30% of women with endometriosis, painful sex is their main symptom.  60% of those women report that there are often/always in pain during intercourse. 54% often interrupt or avoid sex due to the pain. 67% of these women have recto-vaginal endometriosis.  The endometriosis grows in places that are irritated during intercourse. Endometriosis causes 20% of relationships to end in divorce.  Many of the drugs that women go on to help with endometriosis results in a lower sex drive. Ms. Hummelshoj encourages couples to schedule intimate time and to explore other ways in which to be intimate other than intercourse.  She encourages women to see if there are times in their cycle in which their endometriosis is less inflamed or other positions that do not exacerbate the endometriosis as much.  She encourages couples to see a sex therapist to talk about feelings of rejection, guilt, sadness or frustration.  She encourages couples to have an open line of communication.

Drug Use or Abuse? The Need for Responsible Pain Management Donna Kesselman, MD

Dr. Kesselman is an expert in treating pain and endometriosis at the Integrative Pain Center in New York. She serves on the Advisory Board of the Endometriosis Foundation of America and recently spoke at their Third Annual Congress. She is presently co-authoring a book about living with endometriosis from the patient’s perspective. She suffered from endometriosis herself.  She talked about how many times women with endometriosis deal with untreated pain. They live a life of chronic pain.  Many women try and treat the pain themselves with the overuse over the counter drugs that can really hurt other parts of the body. She talks about the importance of going to a pain doctor, like herself, to find the right medicine to help.  She said there are many, many options out there for women. She even mentioned a “vaginal valium” that can be given before intercourse to help with pain. But she stressed that treating the underlying cause is most important and that surgery may be needed to excise the endometriosis. She also stressed that physical therapy can also be quite helpful for endometriosis patients. She also stressed that sometimes after surgery patients still feel pain and that is because your brain establishes pain pathways over time and has to be re-programmed.

Endometriosis & Mind: Psychology of Pain Arnold Wilson, PhD

Everyone patient who gets surgery to remove endometriosis at Columbia School of Medicine also has to go for a psych consult and many see Dr. Wilson. Dr. Wilson spoke compassionately at length regarding the profound impact living in chronic pain has on a woman. He talked about the importance of having someone who believes in your pain and listens to all your symptoms. Endometriosis is not a well-known disease, yet it is a disease that causes chronic pain and debilitating symptoms. The disease can be very hard to diagnose and often doctors, friends, relatives, and employers dismiss the cries of endometriosis patients. They are seen as crazy, weak or hypochondriacs. This is psychologically so harmful to the suffering patient.  One woman woke up after having extensive surgery to remove her endometriosis asking, “Please tell me it was in there! Please tell me I am not crazy!” 

Current Research Priorities in Endometriosis Stacey Missmer, PhD

Stacy Missmer is the Director of Epidemiologic Research in Reproductive Medicine at Brigham and Women’s Hospital. There are very little research studies regarding endometriosis despite the fact it affects 10% of women. Some interesting facts that were stated were leaner girls were found to be at a higher risk for endometriosis. Women with endometriosis have twice the risk of getting ovarian cancer than other women. But in reality, she said it was 2% higher as compared to 1%, so still not that high. There have not been studies that researched the effect that fertility medication has on women with endometriosis in regards to cancer. She found that women with endometriosis on average spend 18 days a year in bed due to the disease which obviously very much effects employment.

 

Dairy-Free Gluten-Free Irish Soda Bread

 

                                                                  Link to Video

Every year I look forward to St. Patrick’s Day because of one thing: Irish Soda Bread. My grandma made it her whole life and passed down her recipe and her caste iron skillet to me before she died. With my new gluten-free dairy-free diet, I was worried I would never be able to enjoy this familial treat again.  I have found a way to make a great Irish Soda Bread without using dairy products. It has a taste so good you will even fool your most picky relative! To be truly honest, I also tried the recipe substituting gluten-free flour for the regular flour. The taste was good, but the consistency could not be confused with that of a traditional Irish Soda Bread.

What you will need:

• One Caste Iron Skillet (You can cook it in a regular round cake pan, but the skillet is preferred)

• 4 cups of all-purpose flour (This also can be substituted for gluten-free all-purpose flour)

• 2 tsp. of flour

• 1 tsp. of baking soda
• 1/4 cup of sugar

• 1 tsp. of baking powder

• ½ tsp. of salt

• ½ cup of vegan butter spread (I prefer Earth Balance)

• 1 egg

• 1 and 1/3 cup of almond milk

• 1 tablespoon of almond milk set aside

• 1 cup and ½ of raisins

Directions:

1. First preheat oven to 375 degrees along with caste iron skillet.
2. Combine flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt in a mixing bowl.
3. Add vegan butter spread and mix well. Then add egg and mix well. Slowly pour in 1 cup and 1/3 of almond milk until dough is formed. Add raisins and mix.
4. Sprinkle 2 tsp. of flour on a clean surface. Take dough out of mixing bowl and form into an oval ball. Spread a light layer of almond milk on top of dough ball. Using a sharp knife, score the top of dough ball. Place on caste iron skillet and put in the oven for one hour.  Best topped with vegan butter spread or your favorite jam. Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

 

Gluten Free Dairy Free Brownies

                                                    Video of How to Make Brownies
                                                    
                                                  Gluten  Free Dairy Free Brownies
Here's a great way to indulge in a delicious brownies without breaking your gluten free dairy free endodiet!
Ingredients:
2oz of Dark Chocolate
1/2 cup of Vegan Butter Spread (I use Earth Balance)
2 Eggs
1 cup of Sugar
1 tsp. of Vanilla
3/4 cup of Almond Flour

First pre-heat oven to 350 Degrees. Take a 8x8x2 pan and spray it with a non-stick cooking spray. Put a pot of water on the stove and place a small metal bowl on top of boiling water. Add the dark chocolate and vegan butter spread to metal bowl. Stir until melted and combined. In a separate, slightly larger bowl, combine eggs, sugar and vanilla. Add the chocolate-vegan butter mixture to the egg mixture. Mix well. Lastly, add the almond flour to the mixture and stir until just combined. Add the batter to the greased baking pan. Bake for around 40 minutes. These brownies are very moist. It is best to let them cool before serving. Enjoy!

Heart Shaped Dairy Free Chocolate Flourless Cake

Here it is! The first official endometriosis friendly gluten free and dairy free recipe. After my surgery in 2011, my doctor told me that a gluten and dairy free diet would help keep my endometriosis at bay. Being an Italian New Yorker, the idea of cutting off both dairy and wheat made me so sad. But I have found recipes along the journey that have made my heart happy. Speaking of hearts, Valentine's Day is here! Being dairy free, it is really hard to participate in the candy festivities that come with this day. But have no fear, this recipe will quench your chocolate craving, while not antagonizing your endometriosis!  

How to Explain Infertility to a Five Year Old

The other night while I was lying in bed with my five year old daughter, reading her a bed time story, she started prodding my belly with her hand. The combination of a filling dinner, my lack of exercise over the past few months and pants that were just a little too tight had caused me to have some extra baggage around my mid-section that hadn’t been there in a while. Her curiosity got the best of her. Noticing my bigger-than-normal belly, she then asked me the question “Mommy, are you EVER going to have a baby in your belly?”


Let me just say that 85% of the women I know right now are pregnant or had a newborn in the last six months. There must be something about the 33-34 age range that inherently lends itself to pregnancy. So my daughter and I have been wrapping gifts and writing cards and sending them out to all of the new moms and their little ones, not to mention a congratulation gift to any big sibling already in the house. Combine this fact with the reality that all of my daughters’ friends and most of her cousins now all have siblings, she has been asking a lot if she is EVER going to be a big sister. Because in my daughter’s opinion, she would be the most awesome big sister to grace Planet Earth and I don’t happen to disagree.
 If I could put a Facebook status on our family expansion I would say “It’s complicated.” Since my daughter has been born, my husband and I have exhausted all attempts to have more biological children, which resulted in many miscarriages and failed medical procedures. We also survived one failed attempt to adopt embryos. We have been doing a lot of research on domestic and international adoption, but after battling infertility and pregnancy loss our spiritual, financial and emotional resources are running on empty and at this point we could not endure another long, potentially heart breaking journey to expand our family.
But how do you explain this to a five year old? How do you explain this to a five year old who has a 50% chance of inheriting not only my genetic defect which led to all my miscarriages, but also endometriosis, a disease which not only causes infertility but also terrible chronic pain? My daughter is very smart and wise beyond her years. She was not buying with the vague answer I usually give her when she inquires about having siblings. The other night she looked me in the eye and wanted to know what was up.
I had to tell her the truth. I took a deep breath and told my five year old, “I will never have another baby growing in my belly.” She asked, “Never?” I told her, “Never. I am so grateful and lucky that you were able to grow in my belly.” My daughter looked sad and confused and said, “How come Stella’s mom was able to have four babies grow in her belly and you could just have one? It isn’t fair.” Ugh. Is there really a good answer to this? Doesn’t every adult infertile woman struggle with this question at some point in her journey?
I tried to explain to my daughter that everyone has a journey in this life and some parts of that journey are really hard to understand because they don’t make sense and make us sad. Sometimes life isn’t fair and there is no good reason. But I brought it back to how grateful I am that she is my little one and how much I love her and her dad. It would have been awesome if this conversation ended at this point. But as I mentioned, my daughter is wise beyond her years. “So if you can’t have another baby in your tummy, why can’t we just adopt a baby like our cousin was adopted and like Bloom on "The Winx" cartoon was?” Double ugh.
I couldn’t answer this question because there is simply no good answer. I can’t explain to her how sad the miscarriages have left us. I can’t explain to her how frightened the failed embryo adoption has left us. I can't explain to her the pain we would feel if we were set to adopt a baby but the birth mother changed her mind and took her back, like some laws allow her to do. How could we all cope with that? How would my daughter deal with that when all she wants is a sibling? International adoption has many challenges and uncertainties as well. We are still healing and the thought of having any failed adoptions before we are able to have our “forever family” seems like too much to endure. I wanted to run and cry into my pillow. But my beautiful miracle was waiting for an answer.
I told her that adoption is a wonderful gift and works out for so many families. I also said it is a long journey and is not easy. After a relentless string of more questions, I finally told her it can take a long time to adopt a baby and can be very expensive. I also told her that sometimes it can be a little scary because the person you are adopting the baby from or the country where you are adopting the baby can change their mind. Then my daughter asked, “Wait, if you pay the money and the person or country changes their mind, do you get your money back?” Seriously-- she is five!! I told her that sometimes you do not get your money back. She said, “Well that isn’t fair! I am so sad Mommy. I really wanted to be a big sister. I would be a great big sister.” I gave her a big hug and told her it is okay to be sad, I am sad too. I then asked my daughter if she had any more questions and she said no and wanted to go back to reading her book.

I don’t know if what I said was the right thing. In many ways the questions she asked have no right or wrong answers and in reality some of the questions she asked have no answers at all. I know this is one of many conversations she and I are going to be having about my infertility issues throughout her life and possibly her own. I just hope and pray she can always feel she can come and talk to me and that I can give her honest, age appropriate answers that satisfy her needs at the time without terrifying her. In so many ways she is so mature beyond her years and yet when she announced to a room full of my in-laws the other day, “My mom is NEVER going to have another baby in her belly and we are not going to adopt!” I am reminded that she is just five years young and still my little girl.

Retreat: place affording peace, quiet, privacy, or security

I refuse to say that "everything happens for a reason" or "God doesn't give you anything you cannot handle." I don't think that is a fair statement and can neatly explain every terrible tragedy that exists on this earth. Those statements do not help my faith. They do not bring me comfort when I am feeling sad or overwhelmed. Sometimes things just don't make sense. Life is unfair and can really suck sometimes.
What does give me comfort is a sense that I am not alone and that I am loved. Also seeing how others cope and keep going inspire me to do the same. It is so amazing how in the midst of terrible tragedy, the human spirit allows people to rise above their pain and do extraordinary things. In shared sadness and grief a sense of community, strength and support emerge that is powerful. I saw that in New York City after the September 11th tragedy. I see this strength every day in the online infertility community.

I have had this feeling for the past few years that I can use everything I have been through to help bring others relief on their infertility journeys. I also have an extensive background in leading and organizing retreats. So why not combine the two and lead retreats for women struggling with infertility?
Uncertain if this was a good idea, I called the retreat house to see if they even had spots. It was then I got a sign. The woman in charge of the facility told me about her 8 year battle with infertility almost 30 years ago when IVF was new in the United States. She had 8 rounds of IVF and nothing worked. She then went on to adopt her two children. That was another incredible story. I got chills as I listened to her journey. I knew it was an omen that I was doing the right thing.

So please spread the word and don’t be afraid to ask questions.

The theme of the retreat this year is: Come as You Are

The goal of the retreat is: to relax, replenish, recuperate your mind, body and spirit

The Cost: Around $300 for a two night three day stay- including all meals and a wine and cheese night

We will have a masseuse and an acupuncturist available for an extra cost if people want to participate.

The Dates: April 5th-7th, May 31st-June2nd, June 7th-9th, September 6th-8th, October 18-20th

The place:  http://www.mariandale.org/grounds_facilities.asp
I am still working on the details and the dates may change based on availability and interest.

If you are interested in signing up, please email me at angelcase@aol.com. Please include your top three choices for dates and which focus would be best for you: infertility and loss, secondary infertility and loss, finally pregnant and terrified,  or adoption after infertility.

"A snowflake is one of God's most fragile creations, but look what they can do when they stick together!" -Author Unknown