Endometriosis and Infertility
Intro: Hi there, my name is Casey Berna. I am an
endometriosis patient myself; I have had two excision surgeries with Dr. Seckin
and four endo related surgeries before I found him. I am also an infertility and recurrent
pregnancy loss survivor. I am a social
worker and I do therapy with endometriosis and infertility patients and I also
run monthly support groups through Endowarriors and resolve.
Important Things to
know about Endometriosis and Infertility
1)
This is
hard and you are all superwoman. Having endometriosis, a chronic, painful
disease is INCREDIBLY difficult. Navigating infertility is a devastating
struggle. When you put these two things together, it creates a physical and
emotional crisis that is not really recognized by most doctors, co-workers, family,
friends and society in general. Handling one of these things is exhausting and
all consuming, handling both at once
takes superhuman powers, which in my professional experience, most
endometriosis patients seem to possess.
2)
Be gentle
with yourself, take care of yourself. Just
because you have superhuman powers doesn’t mean you have to use them all the
time. Feel free to say no to moving your brother into his new home, skip Cousin
Susie’s baby shower or opt out of visiting your friend in the hospital who just
had her third baby. I give you permission, no I demand you to protect your heart, body and your
spirit during this time of crisis. When
you can remove any toxic people or situations in your life that suck all of
your energy and bring you more stress. I
have one patient who calls her mom right before her transfers and tells her she
can’t talk to her for a week. During this time, I feel like many of us are just
doggie paddling through life, you don’t need someone or something to pull your
head below water if you can avoid it.
3)
Be aware
of the emotional impact endo and Infertility. Many patients struggle with anxiety and depression. Endo causes
fatigue, pain and the diagnosis and treatment of the disease is not simple.
Patients undergoing infertility treatments, seeking out third party
reproduction or going through the adoption process, often have hope, but their struggle is real and they
often feel a lack of control and uncertainty. There are real stressors, financial emotional and physical often
associated. These experiences can be isolating.
Getting involved in the endo and infertility communities changed my
life. Connecting with other women online who are going through similar
things or attending a local RESOLVE support group can truly help. Get
connected. And parts of endometriosis
and infertility are downright traumatic. If you feel like you are drowning,
reach out; find a good therapist who understands endo and infertility. It will
help so much.
4)
Be your
own advocate. I have worked with so many patients who, even at the top
clinics, have had their endometriosis dismissed or ignored when seeking
fertility treatments. Listen to that little voice inside of you when it says
that something doesn’t seem right or feel right. Listen to your body. Educate yourself.
Go online. That right I am ENCOURAGING
YOU TO GOOGLE. Ask questions in the reliable forums. Read the articles
posted on the endometriosis specialists sites regarding infertility. If your dr. dismisses your questions or the
information from specialists or dismisses the role endometriosis can play in
infertility, find a new doctor. This
is your body. Believe in yourself. Remember you are superwoman.
5)
Keep
faith in yourself. Family building is a stressful and invasive process, it
is so intense. Endometriosis can also be an intense, invasive and relentless
disease. So many patients come to me
saying they feel broken, broken on
both a physical and psychological level. There is so much uncertainty, fear
and sadness that come with all of this. One of my endo patients, a staple in my
RESOLVE group, is an incredible support to others, her warmth and smile light
up the room. She texted me the other day
to say her latest IUI failed, and after a very long road, she only has one more
left to try. She is losing faith. After cursing the universe for her, I told
her that I have no idea how this is all
going to come out in the end but that I have faith in her as a person, faith in
her beautiful relationship with her partner, and faith that no matter what
comes, she will be able to find the strength and tools to figure out her path.
This process can make us lose ourselves. But the truth is each one of us is
incredible individuals with gifts and strengths. Even though you may not feel
it at times, you are more than your endo and you are more than your fertility
capabilities.
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