Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Top Ten Signs You Are Going Through Fertility Treatments

10. While driving to the store, you start sobbing when you hear Demi Lovato’s new song “Skyscraper” on the radio.

9. You write your father a 100 word emotional, sappy birthday message…on your face book wall.

8. Your husband wears two different shoes to work--two days in a row.

7. If the fertility treatment does not result in a pregnancy, you’re considering a career in the adult film industry with your new hormonally enhanced breasts.

6. You cut off all contact with family and friends, and limit your contact with the outside world to watching shows on the WB.

5. Instead of playing minesweeper or solitaire, these days you procrastinate by obsessively calculating your potential due date on various pregnancy websites.

4. The ultrasound technician at your fertility doctor’s office has seen you more with your pants off than your husband has.

3. You declined an invitation to your co-worker’s baby shower due to a serious, highly contagious, mysterious virus you suddenly came down with.

2. You haven’t cooked a meal or gone grocery shopping in weeks.

1. Your parish priest slips you a drug intervention pamphlet on the way out of church, after noticing the needle marks on your arms and legs from all the blood tests and injections.